Values Formation in Grandchildren
Grandparenting can have great impact in the younger years. We know that up to the age of about 12, children are much more responsive and open. After age 12 their peers become more influential in their lives. Realizing this, grandparents can intentionally impact their grandchildren with positive spiritual values which will have life-long rewards.
One of the most effective ways to impact our grandchildren is to use real life situations to teach them spiritual values.
Make a list ...
Make a list of the values you want to pass on to your grandchildren, then look for ways to impart those values. One way is to tell stories of your childhood which taught you something about one of these values:
1. Keep your word
2. Be Reliable
3. Be Responsible
4. Be Hospitable
5. Live with Integrity
6. Work hard and honestly
7. Learn total dependence on God
8. Be a Peacemaker - learn to resolve problems
9. Demonstrate a Servant attitude
10. Show your love by words and actions
11. Know the value of money and the right attitude toward it
12. Be content with single living when that is your role
13. Value education and treat it as a privilege not a right
14. Be transparent and open with people
15. Practice laughter and being joyful
16. Be Honest
Check it twice ...
Be authentic and fun with your grandkids. When they observe your love for God and the joy in your life, it will have a big impact in their lives.
Treat them as though you believe in them no matter what. Remember they are in a process and not yet finished!
Share spiritual victories with your grandchildren. Times when God answered prayer. Times when you witnessed miracles. Times when God intervened in circumstances ... for you or for someone else.
Also, share your spiritual defeats. Times when you were discouraged. When you made mistakes and what you learned from them. When God didn't answer prayer the way you wanted at the time, but now you have a better perspective and have learned greater faith and trust.
Memorable Moments
Let your grandchildren see you spending time in the Word and in prayer. Include them when appropriate. Encourage their attempts to read the Word and to pray. Challenge them. Model for them. Create a ''this is normal'' atmosphere around your communication with God.
If your parents and grandparents impacted your life spiritually, tell your grandchildren about it.
Take your grandchildren to church. Get them involved in meaningful spiritual activities with other children their same age. Look for ways to get them into projects that provide opportunity to reach out to others. Projects in your neighborhood as well as overseas.
Introduce them to good books appropriate for their age. Biographies of some of the great people of faith are very impacting.
Tell your grandchildren you love them. Show them you love them. Hug them. Look them in the eye. Get down on their level if they are small. Don't try to buy their love by giving them more things. They will love you if you show them you love them. They can't resist it.
If there has been a family break-up of some kind, know that healing is needed, even if you are not sure you see any effects. Build their self esteem. Let them know you are proud of them. Be there for them no matter what. Affirm and applaud them ... not just for outstanding things ... but for the little things in life that really show who we are.
Bridging Generations
If your grandchildren are teenagers, do not be intimidated. They will respond to your authenticity, sometimes better than to their own parents authenticity. If necessary, have conversations with your children on this subject to avoid misunderstanding and jealousy, then act appropriately; but take advantage in good ways of that special bond between a grandparent and a teenager.
All of us want to know - Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? Your length of life, wisdom, insights and experience make you unique in your ability to help answer these questions for your grandchildren. That is one of the great responsibilities and privileges of being a grandparent. Go for it!
As grandparents, we need to conform enough to relate. There is a natural distance between us and our grandchildren, as well as a natural bridge. We need to realize that the bridge is there and they are waiting to cross it. We also need to realize it may take a little adjusting on our side to make the bridge seem strong enough to cross. We can conform somewhat to their world. We can accept the clothing, the tattoos, the piercings, the expressions of selfhood that were not around when we were passing through the same time in our development. If we can look beyond some of those things to their heart, their passion, their inner values, we will connect and they will cross that bridge. That's part of being an intentional grandparent, part of being appropriate in their lives, part of making a significant impact on their spiritual and moral development. It's there waiting for us to do. Cross the bridge!
